Posted by: JB | May 11, 2011

Golf Thoughts

In 3 days we’ll all gather at Cambridge golf course to partake in the 1st Annual “Weekend for Wes” golf scramble.  I want to give you my thoughts/predictions going into this thing and alert you to stuff you should look for.  This is something I do for fun and will continue to do for all “Weekend for Wes” events in the future.  I know I left some teams and people out so I’ll try to do better next year.  All in all this should be a great event.  Let’s start the “Weekend for Wes” off the right way.  All of the staff is really excited to see their hard work culminate in an awesome couple of days.  Thanks for being a part it.  With that said…

Let’s start things off by getting the worst team out of the way…Howell Par 3 Legends.  These guys are going to be so wide eyed when they actually play on a real golf course with fairways, greens, and bunkers that they’ll never recover.  However, if
Cambridge has sand traps on their greens, 4ft high fairway grass, the aroma of Howell Park, and will not let you use a tee on the tee box, this might be the team to beat.  I am most interested in seeing Kyle and Scott Hartmann in golf apparel and can only hope that Hartmann leaves his cut off Holister shirts in the closet that morning.  Hopefully, an errant shot (which there will be plenty of) wipes out Heath Howington’s leg and he can’t play in the 3 on 3 tournament the next day (check his 1st round match up!).

Now that we’ve trimmed the fat let’s look at a couple different teams and try to determine if they are contenders or pretenders.  Optimum Performance…pretender!  I won’t be able to concentrate with former Reitz coaching outcast Joe Patton playing in front of us, especially if he wears bright colors, Jeff Dierlam still can’t grow facial hair even though he’s graying up top, Jason Russell has a 26 inch waist and balding, and Matt Breivogel is the least competitive person in the entire field.  With all that said we’ve secured a sponsorship from Kevin Canterbury for $5-10 for every shot we come in under par.  That means we’ll finish in 4th place no matter what, just outside the prizes but a good enough score to ensure a hefty donation.

Mac Attack…contender!  Nick Falkenstein is one of the best golfers in the field and Sam Forrest is not too far behind.  If they can get some timely putting out of the McKim’s they could be there in the end.

This next team shouldn’t even be in the discussion of contenders/pretenders after two of their players shot a combined 252 up here in Indianapolis a couple of weeks ago at a course not named Purgatory, Wolf Run, or Crooked Stick.  That’s right Panther Basketball you guys are hopeless.  Not even a Jim Brinkmeyer halftime speech that doesn’t make sense but always seems to work can get you guys to contend.  Hey Brink, how many letters are in the word “TEAM” and how many players are on your golf team?  I think your analogy might work this time!

Grizzly Adams says Eastside and Down are contenders based on Nick Leaf’s beard.  I say they’re pretenders based on Nick Leaf’s physique.   Reitz Football would be a contender if Darron Vanover and Tyrone Browning could stay even keel and not trash talk each other and their teammates to death.  Each one has the capability of taking that team down faster than the Titanic by berating each other on bad shots.  There will be a Reitz Football team story after the round that includes the phrase…”and that’s when it all went downhill.”  I’m guessing that story will also include the phrase…”on our 4th hole.”  However, I have seen both of the aforementioned individuals will their teams to victory in the same capacity as I’ve seen them quit on their teams.  It’s an interesting dynamic and one I look forward to seeing play out…from afar.

Other teams to watch as contenders include Kirkston Mortgage and Weapons of Grass Destruction.  I’m not familiar with many of the player’s on each team when it comes to their golf game but rumor has it Jason Jones just regained his amateur status, and Gary Wolf from Weapons of G.D. is a golf teacher out in Arizona.  I’m looking forward to seeing and talking to Gary but I’m more excited to see if he’s done anything with his skeleton tattoo he used to rock in our Golfmoor days.  I’m also looking forward to meeting Curt John since I grew up hearing stories from my dad, Gary Barnett, about him being the best basketball player to come out of Reitz.

A game within the game features a match-up of epic proportions with a clash of two families to decide which is better at golf.  The Woods brothers with cousin Matt Chipps lead their family versus the Zeller family with their son in law Brandon McClish.   I know John and Dan Woods are pretty good but Ihave to assume Brian Woods is not and there’s no way Chipps’ humungous biceps and lack of height are capable of producing a smooth golf swing.  Edge Zellers, as long as Brandon knows his role as an Indian not a Chief, something I’m having a hard time getting through to him on the basketball court.  I understand this is the least interesting sub plot of the entire “Weekend for Wes” scramble, but a sub plot none the less.

My candidate to have the most stories to tell after the round is Adam Kunkel.  No way you team up with Chad Oswald and walk off the course unscathed.  Throw in Nick Baumgart and Chase Oswald and you’ve just completed the recipe for a wild ride.  Godspeed my friend…godspeed.

Biggest style discrepancy between teammates has to be the combo of Chad Wingert and Matt Bradfield.  Wingert prides himself on being fresh to death and I know a lot of thought will be put in to his scramble apparel.  The last time I saw Bradfield he looked like he just stepped off an elliptical machine at Bob’s Gym, which is no big deal except for the fact that we were at a wedding rehearsal!

Team Hard to Handle has my favorite Dierlam on it…Randy, but the addition of Troy “Florida” Vaupel is sure to doom
them in the end.  Britt Wilson’s Chilly Willy’s team is the biggest mystery of the scramble mainly due to the fact that despite HAVING TWO AND A HALF MONTHS TO SUBMIT A TEAM we still don’t have the names of his teammates. (Edit: I finally got them a couple days ago after I wrote this.)

Well, there you have it.  That’s all I could come up with for this year.  I’m sure the event will leave me with plenty of ammo for next year.

Feel free to leave comments below.  I encourage you to do so…

Basketball Thoughts coming same time tomorrow.  Be sure to check back for those.


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